Gratitude

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I’m writing this post because I feel like I need 
to put out into the universe, my gratitude for my health.  

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I would like to believe, that by putting gratitude out to the universe, 
good things will come your way.  

So today, I am SO thankful.
And I’m saying it out loud.

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As you may know from this post, in February 
I ended up with pulmonary emboli as a result of a surgery I had just had.  

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And since then, for the past 6 months, I feel like I have been holding my breath (literally and figuratively) waiting for this time to pass, to heal, then to be given a clean bill of health.  

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It’s not been an easy time…

  1. Pulmonary emboli are scary.  Scary.
  2. I felt very alone at times.
  3. This has been very hard on my husband too.  I haven’t been a complete ray of sunshine.
  4. I had to complete a 6 month treatment of blood thinners and I did not like being on them at all.  Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful for them, but I didn’t like having to take them.  I had to watch everything I ate and drank (I desperately miss kale, broccoli, cabbage and ginger tea), because so many things react with this type of medication.
  5. And with this medication I also had to have constant blood work done at the lab.  Sometimes 3 times a week, some times once every two weeks.  A small price to pay for my life, but it was a constant reminder of what I was healing from, and I was tired of being reminded.  Not to mention bruised inner arms just aren’t sexy.  😉
  6. During my 2 day hospital treatment back in February, I had a resident spew all his medical theories out to me. Not cool.  He had no idea the seeds he planted in my mind.  This takes me to #7.
  7. I suffered from some major anxiety for about 2 months.  Then 4 months of niggling anxiety, waiting to have this all be over and done with.
  8. I am superstitious, and didn’t want to plan anything too far ahead because I was afraid that if I did, I was being greedy… I felt like I should wait for a clean bill of health.  I know that seems crazy, but it’s how I felt.  I think it stems from the fact that I also felt so much shame for all of this.  It’s not rational I know, but when facing dark fears, rationale sometimes just isn’t there.
  9. I constantly dreaded my 6 month check up with the pulmonologist (I hate CT scans, breathing tests, blood work and waiting…).
  10. Waiting is not my strong suit.  I want things resolved like yesterday.
  11. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop…

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So needless to say, I’ve been a little distracted as of late.
Worry consumed me and I can’t be creative when I’m distracted like that (but who can?).
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But today, after a loooooooong wait, I finally got the news I was waiting for.  
I’m healed. 
I’m all done with this chapter in my life. 
 I’ve let my breath release and it’s time for me to move ahead.  
No more niggling worries.  No more.  
I’m back to my life (and my blog) and it’s time to get focussed.  I’m getting focussed.  
And I’ve got lots of ideas and posts coming up that I am super excited about!
Right after I sleep for about 3 days getting rid of all this pent up adrenaline, hahaha 

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So thank you universe.  Thank-you!

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Life is good.
Life is good!

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There is a follow up to this post, as it turns out my journey did not end here…but I promise it all turns out great.  Better than great.
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28 Comments

  1. Jo-Anna — this beautiful post made me teary. I am so thrilled you got a clean bill of health, and just know you are not ever alone. You have gone through a lot, and you deserve a huge hug and a huge BREAK!!! Here’s to clear skies ahead. Yahoo!! xoxoxo

  2. Glad you are feeling better now. Health scares definitely put things in priority. I know because I have had two scares myself. Have a good night!

  3. what a relief! My hubs has suffered with PE and it is painful to see him go through the anxiety and fear much less the testing, I’m glad your hubs was there for you. You are well, go out and enjoy!

  4. Hi Jo-Anna,
    I have some idea of the anxiety and turmoil you have just experienced. About 12 yrs ago our daughter developed a deep vein thrombosis and required daily injections into her abdomen over 5 days to help break up the blood clot. I hate the site of needles but I stepped up and did what any mother would do for their child. I administered every injection and to this day I still can’t believe I was actually able to do it. I completely understand your “Gratitude” and so happy to hear that the good Lord has blessed you with a complete recovery. Sheila S.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story Sheila! It’s always so meaningful to share with others their similar experiences! I too had to do 5 days of injections in my thigh (yuck!), but you are right, you just have to do what you have to do!
      I hope your daughter is safe and healthy!
      Jo-Anna

  5. Wonderful news – and I too would like to join you in being grateful for good health!!! Here’s to skipping down the path ahead…..B:)

  6. I can well imagine a very huge sigh of relief escaping from your lips when you heard this Top of the World news when sitting in your chair in front of the Specialist. Anxiety and Fears cause a surmountable amount of Stress … I can hear your gratefulness within your word. Happy for you and yours, Jo-Anna. Thank you also for dropping by to share your kind words and encouragement with me.

  7. Hey Jo-Anna, I was just getting caught up on your posts that I’ve missed. Wow! I had no idea you had been dealing with all of that! I knew you had had some sort of surgery and complications after, but I didn’t know they went on for soo long. Happy to hear you’ve received a clean bill of health! My mom’s health has been terrible for the past 24 years. She’s nearly left us several times. It’s easy to get caught up in the worry of it all. The fact that I haven’t seen her in 6 years is hard too. Thanks for the reminder that I should be grateful I still have her! And thank you for such a personal post. It really touched my heart. =)

    ~ Catie

    BTW, that slow cooker soup sounds delish! I really need to use my crock pot more.

  8. Oh Jo-Anna, I’m so sorry you were struggling; I know it can make for some dark days. On the bright side, it sounds like that valley is behind you and you are able to clearly see all that you are grateful for!

    I must say again what a great blog you have; lovely pictures that make my mouth water. I’ve tried a number of your recipes and all I can is DELISH!

    Ciao,
    Elizabeth

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